If there are children in the home, there’s a pretty good chance that there’s one thing that tops everything else on mom’s Mother’s Day wishlist: TIME. ALONE.
Nope, not even with you, hubby. And not at home, where there’s laundry to do and lunches and suppers to make and endless To-Do lists that never get tackled when other people are at home. She wants guilt free time alone away from the house. She wants a night away. On her own. At a hotel.
Think about this for a minute, guys. You want to go away for a guy’s weekend – maybe a long weekend. You check in with the wife to make sure the timing works out, then you book Friday off and you take off on Thursday night with the boys. You’ve packed your bags, kissed everyone goodbye, and then you head out – guilt free (what do you have to feel guilty about, after all?) – and enjoy your weekend of sleeping, drinking, watching movies, and playing manly video games. Pretty normal, right?
Now, should your wife decide to go away for the weekend, she’ll check in with you – and after you give her a bit of a guilt trip about how many kid activities you’ll have to get the kids to on your OWN, she might schedule it in. If she can possibly figure out how to get a sitter and get the school kids to and from school, she might even have a long weekend. She’ll write out a detailed schedule of who has to be where when, she’ll pack lunches and make suppers (or make sure that there’s pizza or something in the freezer) and do groceries so that you don’t run out of food. She’ll make sure that enough laundry has been done so that no one runs out of socks or underwear. Then, she kisses everyone goodbye and heads out the door, but you text her four times that night asking where the baby’s special blanket is and letting her know that the two oldest haven’t stopped yelling at each other since she stepped out the door, but “Have a good time,” you say. And then there’s the ‘just checking in’ texts that you send her, letting her know that you had to get up with the kids twice that night and they were up for the day at 6am.
Here’s the deal: it’s stressful for moms with young kids to go away. I’ve talked to stay at home moms and working moms, and none of us find it easy to get away for a day – let alone a weekend - because there’s just so much to do to get ready for the time away. That and the fact that we feel guilty because we’re keenly aware of how much it costs us and how much it inconveniences everyone else to go away for the weekend.
And yet, it’s so important. It’s so important for us moms to be able to recharge our batteries! To have a whole day – a whole night – to not worry about meeting anyone else’s needs. No suppers, no putting kids to bed, no midnight nightmares, no making yourself look pretty for anyone, no breakfast demands, no need to get out of bed because someone else needs you!
And so, I propose that you give your wife the mother’s day gift that she deserves - time to HERSELF. Book a full day – or two! – ‘off’ for her (but don’t you dare book a babysitter – you clear your schedule and look after those kiddos by yourself, just like she does when you’re away!) – book a hotel room for her. Not so far away that she has to spend all her time travelling – but far enough that she feels as though she’s on her own. Maybe that’s on the other side of the city, maybe that’s in Kingston.
Maybe you conspire with the husbands of a few of her friends and you all book your wives rooms at the same hotel the same night so that they can go out for dinner together and chill out in the hot tub.
Maybe you let the hotel know that you’d like your wife to be warmly welcomed for the night, that you’ve chosen to send your wife specifically to them for her mini-getaway.
I had the chance to get away in March, and it was literally blissful (blissful: providing perfect happiness or great joy). I stayed at the Delta Kingston Waterfront Hotel with a wonderful friend from university. I had a gorgeous dreamy bed ALL TO MYSELF. There was no one snoring. There were no children to get up for in the morning.
Know what I did when I woke up? I got up, looked out the window at the beautiful sky, then I crawled right back into bed and turned on the TV and watched old, terrible game shows. And Matlock. And didn’t even contemplate making breakfast for anyone or getting up to wipe someone’s bum.
Then I sat by the window in this chair (which I would like to have in my bedroom, thankyouverymuch) and read for an hour. Why not? I had nothing on my plate for the day, and no one to think about except for myself. Woah. Now that’s something that hasn’t happened since my eldest was born.
Husbands, dear husbands, please let me tell you something very clearly. No, your wife is not your mother, but she most definitely brought your children into the world and so you are responsible for TWO things this, and every, Mother’s Day: 1) Making sure that your children have something to give their mother – if they’re not in school or daycare, it’s up to YOU to help them make – at the very least – a card; and 2) Giving your wife something on behalf of yourself as a thank you for giving me children, thank you for absolutely everything that you do to make this household run every day, and I acknowledge and appreciate the fact that you’re the ‘default’ parent who is always on call, even when you’re working.
Flowers are a nice touch, but on their own they softly moan, ‘I’m just doing what’s expected of me!’
I challenge you to kick it up a notch this year and give your wife the gift that she’s going to brag about to all of her friends:
Give your wife the gift of time this Mother’s Day. Alone. Away from the house.
You’ll be giving her rest, quiet, sanity, and a renewed sense of herself.
Go ahead. Book that hotel room for her.
Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post, however Delta Kingston Waterfront Hotel did generously provide me with my hotel room last month on my own little private retreat when I told them about this post that I’d be writing. I absolutely LOVED the time that I spent there, and I can’t actually wait to come back with my family in tow sometime soon! Go visit them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter – believe you me, you’ll want to stop in with them the next time you’re passing through Kingston, too!
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